


Dépaysement

by througheden



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-18
Updated: 2013-05-18
Packaged: 2017-12-12 05:37:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/807901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/througheden/pseuds/througheden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dépaysement (French; n.): A change of scenery; when someone is taken out of their own familiar world and placed into a new one.</p><p>In which Aaron talks to his son, Jack loves Spencer, and Spencer is scared shitless. </p><p>Parental!Spencer is one of my favorite things so bear with me. Brief mentions of Haley,  brief implication of homophobia from schoolboys, and "100" spoilers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dépaysement

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work ever for the CM fandom, so I have no idea what the etiquette is for tagging and spoilers and what the fic tropes are, etc. Comments are appreciated. :)

 “ _We must learn how to lend ourselves to dreaming when dreams lend themselves to us." - Camus  
_

* * *

"Jack, what's wrong, buddy?" Aaron Hotchner asked, kneeling down to his son's height. 

It surprised Aaron for a moment, not having to kneel down quite as far as he used to. Jack was growing up so fast, and for that, Aaron was grateful. Every day he aged, Jack was one step further from the terrible nightmares and the awful memories of the day his mother was murdered. He was one step further from the emotional tragedy; one step further from Foyet. 

All things considered, Jack appeared rather normal. Compared to other children, Aaron felt that he was remarkably well-adjusted. He was bubbly, fun, and talkative, and never shy about speaking his piece. Which was why, when Jack refused to speak to his father, he was vaguely concerned. It was just very unlike his son. 

Even here, kneeling at eye-level, Jack turned away to his army men and continued to ignore his father. 

"Hey, Jack, talk to me. Something's bothering you," he pushed further. His son's tiny shoulders slumped and he set down his green plastic men. 

"Daddy... you really like Spencer, don't you?" 

That took him slightly by surprise. Spencer had been a mainstay in his and Jack's life for a little over a year now and had just recently moved in with them. It hadn't been easy; at first, Jack was hesitant trusting new people. But Spencer, ‘Reid-effect’ be damned, broke through to the young boy with magic tricks and his knowledge on...well, everything. 

He'd also managed to break through to Aaron when no one else could. For that, he'd be forever grateful. 

He suppressed a slight smile, thinking of how well Spencer fit in with his little family. "Of course, Jack, you know I do. You do, too, right?"

"Well duh Daddy, he taught me how you make coins disappear! But..." The smile his son normally wore had vanished and he looked down, playing with his fingers. 

"But..." Aaron pushed, holding his gaze steady. 

"A boy in my class told me today that boys aren't supposed to live together. And I like Spencer living with us, he's fun and I really like him and I don't want him to have to leave because it's wrong—" 

Aaron’s heart broke. Broke into tiny, jagged pieces that, were he not an adult, he would make Jack's classmate walk over barefoot. His son babbled, clearly on the brink of tears, when Aaron pulled him into a tight hug. They sat on the floor of Jack's room, surrounded by little green men while Jack confessed just how much he loved Spencer. 

"—and he cooks breakfast for me like you do and watches cartoons with me and tells the best stories. I don't want him to have to leave, not like Mommy!" 

The hand rubbing Jack's shoulders froze in place. It was only a matter of time, he realized, before this bubbled to the surface. He'd tried denying it, hoping that Haley's death at Jack's young age hadn't left any emotional scars. He was clearly wrong. Haley's death had left Jack with some abandonment issues, something he was all too familiar with in Spencer. 

He pulled back and looked at his son's slightly reddened face. He wasn't crying, but his eyes were wet and scared.

"Jack, buddy, Spencer is not leaving. And Mommy didn't leave you either, you know that right?" Jack looked away. 

"Your mother loved you so much, Jack, more than I can ever explain. You were her life and she never, ever wanted to leave you. A very bad man took her from you, but she did not leave you. Do you understand?" Aaron tried to explain gently, running a hand through his son's hair. 

He nodded and looked back at his father. "Does Spencer make you happy, daddy?" 

Aaron didn't hesitate. 

"Very much so. I still love you mother, Jack, that'll never change. But Spencer is very important to me and he's a big part of our lives, right?" 

The corner of Jack's pout pulled into the tiniest smile when he nodded. 

"So you're happy with each other? And Spencer's happy, too, right?" 

Aaron didn't want to speak for is partner, but Spencer Reid had made it very clear how thrilled he was to be part of the Hotchner household. He'd explained it to Aaron not long after he moved in. Spencer never had the opportunity to be a child and he'd never had a stable family. He never got to watch cartoons or decorate a Christmas tree or decorate a birthday cake for someone else. It terrified him initially, as he'd never thought of having children of his own. But being able to take part in that kind of relationship and being able to give that kind of stability to Jack, well, that suited him just fine. So when Aaron replied, he did it with certainty. 

"Of course, son, he loves you. He loves watching cartoons with you and making those pancakes you love so much. He's very happy here with us. Never question that." He smiled warmly as his son's face brightened. The terror in his eyes subsided and was replaced with a kind of happiness that Aaron rarely saw outside of Christmas morning. 

"Good," Jack said with conviction. "I don't think it's wrong for two boys to live together, daddy. I want both my daddies to be happy."

Aaron thought back to a statistic Spencer once rambled off about the likelihood of spontaneous combustion in humans. He was certain he was about to add to that statistic. 

_Two daddies._ Jack saw Spencer as a father figure. Jack accepted Spencer into their lives. He wanted them both to be happy, not just for themselves, but for one another. Even apparent teasing from his peers, something Aaron knew could be very impressionable during these young years, did nothing to sway that conviction. 

He'd never been more proud of his son. 

Aaron patted his son's blond hair as he turned back to his army men. "We are, son, we are." 

His proud smile didn't fade as stood to go see if Spencer had returned from the store. Apparently, they didn't have the ingredients for whatever it was that Spencer was making for dinner tonight. He never would have pegged the young Doctor to be such a Martha Stewart, but Jack loved his cooking so he wasn't complaining. 

He closed Jack's door, leaving it open just a crack, and as he turned the corner to head towards the stairs, he almost tripped over Spencer's kneeling frame.

Spencer was leaning against the off-white wall, balanced on the balls of his feet with his elbows resting on his knees. His fingers pointed upwards, creating a peak on which his chin rested. He looked pensive, an expression Aaron rarely saw on Spencer. On Dr. Reid, it was commonplace; in the office, this expression signaled the younger profiler's near-breakthrough. On Spencer--his partner-- he wasn't quite sure what it meant. 

"How much did you hear?" Aaron asked, leaning against the wall next to Spencer. 

"I heard enough..." He trailed off, his voice uncertain. It frightened Aaron. Had he been wrong about Spencer being happy with them? Did he not want to be part of this domestic life? Spencer was still young, young enough to change his mind. He prayed that wasn't the case; it would destroy Jack and it would ruin Aaron. 

He tried to speak but was impeded by the lump forming in his throat. All for the better, as Spencer spoke again. 

"He sees me as a pseudo-parent, Aaron. I don't know how to be a father. I don't..." 

_Want this_? If the next two words out of Spencer's mouth were 'want this', Aaron would crumple for the sake of his son. 

"...want to hurt him." 

Aaron let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He was scared of messing up. This, Aaron could handle. 

"You aren't your father, you realize that, right?"

"Neither are you," he replied.

"I know that, I've come to grips with that. And you have to, too."

Spencer looked up at him, wide-eyed and a bit reminiscent of Jack's expression just a few moments ago. 

"That little boy in there adores you. You've already become a parent to him without realizing it. You tend to over think things sometimes, you know. Some things are natural, organic; some things just happen. And you becoming a role model for Jack? That just happened. Children are the best profilers in the world, Spencer, they can see through charades better than the best of the BAU. He sees your sincerity. And that's all he needs." 

There was a brief silence, hesitance on Aaron's end and contemplation on Spencer's. 

"I don't want to do something wrong. What if I say the wrong thing? Or what if I embarrass him? What if the teasing gets to be too much at school or he grows up and realizes that he missed out on something because of me?"

"Welcome to parenthood. I live with that every day of my life. And believe me, the fact that you're so terrified of hurting him? That just makes you a good parent."

"I want to do this, Aaron. I want to be part of… this," he gestured widely to the rest of the house. "I just don't want to mess it up."

"You won't. If I had a single doubt about your ability or your character, I wouldn't allow you within miles of my son," Aaron replied jokingly. He extended a hand out to Spencer and helped him to his feet. Spencer didn't let go of his hand. 

Suddenly, Aaron heard the door to Jack's room open and out popped a Tasmanian devil of blond hair. 

"Spencer!" He yelled, barreling into the young man's legs and hugging him around the knees. “Can we have macaroni and cheese tonight? With hot dogs?" 

He looked to Aaron for an answer, but Aaron put his hands up in mock defeat. If Jack saw Spencer as a 'pseudo parent’, he would have to start letting Spencer feel like one. 

"Uh, how about we have that special pizza you like instead? I just bought all of the ingredients for it and you can help if you want," he replied, bending down to Jack's height. He, too, was surprised at how much Jack had grown in just a little over a year. 

Jack pulled in his bottom lip, contemplating Spencer's offer. 

"'Kay, but can we have ice cream for dessert?" 

Aaron withheld a chuckle. His son, the negotiator. 

Spencer mimicked Jack's pensive expression, pretending to mull over the little boy's terms. 

"I guess we can do that, seeing as I just bought some chocolate brownie ice cream." 

Jack punched the air in triumph and ran towards the stairs. 

"Don't run down the stairs!" Both Aaron and Spencer called simultaneously.

He slowed immediately and walked the rest of the way. 

Spencer looked to Aaron, a grin growing across his face. 

"How'd I do?" 

Aaron wrapped one arm around Spencer's slender frame and pulled him close. "Perfect, just like always." They kissed briefly, surrounded by a tranquility and domesticity that surprised them both. 

"Come on, I wanna make the pizza!" Jack yelled from the bottom of the stairs. Aaron and Spencer laughed into their kiss before pulling away. 

"We better get down there. I don't want a repeat of the spaghetti incident." 

Aaron winced, remembering how long they spent trying to get the tomato sauce stains off of the ceiling. Eventually, they just had to paint over them. 

They walked towards the stairs, Spencer leading the way. Before they descended, Aaron placed a hand on Spencer's shoulder. "Hey, we're okay, right? You're okay with all of...this?" He gestured to the house with his free hand. 

"COME ON!" Jack yelled again, this time from the kitchen. 

"We're coming right now, Jack, please stay away from the tomatoes!" Spencer called back. He turned to Aaron and placed his own hand on Aaron's shoulder. "I have a pizza to make." He smiled and walked ahead of Aaron, a wide grin plastered across his face. 

Aaron knew Spencer was right. They were going to be just fine.  


* * *

 

“ _Thus grave these lessons on thy soul: Hope, faith, and love; and thou shalt find strength when life's surges rudest roll, light when thou else wert blind.”_ _\- Friedrich von Schiller_


End file.
